“Sora-”

Vanitas pointed the gun at his brother’s head, coughing and sniffling, trying to clear his vision with a shake of his head to no avail.

“It’s okay, Van…”

“Shut up! Shut up, let me-” Vanitas sniffled again and lowered the gun, crying, shaking. “Goddamnit-!”

Sora smiled, weak, tired. He was in pain, the cut on his shoulder deeper than they could
see, and Vanitas knew there was no way of saving him now. And yet…And yet-! “Brother, just…Please, tell him…”

Why? Why was Sora trying to tell him what to do? Why was he thinking about other people instead of himself? Even as his body shook, even as the smile on his face slowly contorted into a broken, bloodied mess, even as his body buckled and he gripped his hands together so tight they were starting to bleed!

Vanitas pulled at his hair and held back a scream. It wasn’t fair… It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fair!!

“Tell him… Before it’s too late. Riku…” Sora whimpered. “Now Riku will never know, and…“

It didn’t matter that he was changing. It didn’t matter that his skin would end up rotting away, that his mind would start seeing his friends as nothing but food, that the virus that took over his brain would turn him into something else, into something unrecognizable!

All that mattered was that when Vanitas looked into Sora’s eyes, all he could see was just that: Sora. His little brother. That silly, go-lucky boy that used to get on his nerves when they were kids, but grew up to be his best friend in the whole world. The little boy Vanitas would do  anything to protect. The little boy Vanitas was so proud of and had sworn to keep safe, he had sworn to keep him safe-

He couldn’t just let him go. He couldn’t just give up on him like this. He should be the one to save him, not kill him!

“Ventus deserves to know… And I…”

“Sora…”

“I love you, big brother.”

“I’m sorry-!”

“One, two, three…”

Vanitas sat in the corner of their bunker, counting down how many bottles of water they now had.

His last trip to the supermarket had been very productive. Every market they’d found was usually destroyed with nothing left in it. This one however not only had clean water and food but also medkits! Sitting in their bed, he couldn’t keep himself from smiling at that.

He breathed in deep, checked his arm for the twentieth time. That wasn’t a bite nor a scratch, he told himself. That blood wasn’t his. He was fine.

Of course, if any blood was his he wouldn’t be able to tell. His whole body was covered in it on purpose, the only thing he and Ventus found able to confuse the zombies for a while. It was gross and the smell was awful, but one got used to it after doing that so many times.

He resumed counting. “Four, five…”

Even then, going out was still risky. Every time he left, he panicked thinking of the possibility of not making it back alive or coming back infected. The number of zombies only grew with each day and they grew relentless too.

Right now, however, that didn’t matter. What mattered was that he was back and had brought something with him, something for Ven.

A candy.

Vanitas checked his ammunition: He had a full barrel, plus a few more bullets he’d found on dead bodies. With a nod to himself, he breathed in and left the bunker.

The clouds were growing denser; a downpour was definitely on its way. Vanitas used to love rain and even storms before the virus went loose, but now it only caused him disgust, for whenever it rained all streets ended up flooded with rotting flesh, blood, and flies. Although, he supposed that was their new ‘new’. Maybe there was beauty to be seen in that.

Thankfully they had found this place, far enough from the city. A hill where they built their little bunker and a small area surrounded by a chain-link fence, left behind by someone else. Many days went by where they worried the actual owner of the place would come back to claim it but one year later they were pretty sure that wasn’t going to happen.

Vanitas cleared his throat, putting his gun back and checking his pocket, for the one thing he hoped would make Ventus smile after so long.

Sora’s words still rang in his ears every day. And after pushing them away for so long, he decided it was time.

From the top of the hill, Vanitas then looked down, his smile gone for a moment. He looked at Ventus, who in turn stared into the distance, to the city they had left so long ago and was now crawling with the living dead. He took a few breaths, felt the candy in his pocket, and walked to him.

“Hey, Blondie!”

Vanitas chuckled. That was how he used to greet Ventus when they met at school. He’d walk from behind and call him like that, only to get all flustered when his sunshine turned around to look at him, smiling.

He knew it was stupid, but the image of Ventus he still nurtured in his mind wasn’t the current one. It was that silly, free-going kid he’d first met back in elementary school. Back then all he could recall was Ventus calling for him 24/7. It was that funny, playful teenager who always went out of his way to make his friends happy. It was of that young man who called him ‘Vani’ in the most affectionate, sweet way possible.

But the Ventus he knew now was no longer playful. He was no longer easy-going. He was always depressed, always tired. It was like… A barrier had erupted between them. Kept them apart, even if they were all each other had.

He just wished they could go back in time. Wished everything could feel just like old times, even if for just a moment.
It took Ventus a while to notice Vanitas was there. He looked at him, blue eyes now a broken mask to a mere husk of who he once was. Of who they both once were. Vanitas smiled bigger, trying to pretend he was in a good mood, trying to pretend that even though they’d lost everything, having one another was enough.

It should have been enough. It should have.

But of course, it couldn’t be. Not after they’d seen their world turn upside down. Not after seeing people from all over the world turn into things without a mind, things that only craved blood. Not after losing every single one of their family members, not after watching all their friends die and kill each other.

How could being reduced to two people ever be enough?

“So…” Vanitas swallowed dryly, looking down, both hands now in his pockets. He kicked a rock, watched it tumble a few feet away from them. It was time. Before it was too late. “I have something for you.”

Ventus looked at him again. His hair was a mess, just like Vanitas’. Hell, they were both a mess. No shower in months, barely eating, barely sleeping. Still, the mere sight of Ventus made Vanitas’ heart miss a beat. Even if he was depressed to the point of barely speaking, even if he was tired to the point of not striking up any more conversations.

“Listen, this… Was very hard to find, okay? I had to, like, parkour through these zombies to get to it!”

He motioned his hands trying to show how cool that experience had been, but that description couldn’t be farther from the truth. He shuddered, remembering the many bodies he’d stumbled upon, and the awful smell that entered his nostrils. Not to mention the many, many times he had escaped death by sheer luck!

Ventus tilted his head and stared at him. Damn it, Vanitas thought; this was not the time to be so grim.

“Worth it though!” Vanitas continued, pushing his fear and worry aside and instead showing only excitement. “So! Any guesses as to what it is?”

He smiled, hoping for an answer. Even his excitement however wasn’t enough to pick Ventus’ interest. The blond just sighed, then looked at Vanitas’ hands.

“Come on. One single guess and I’m sure it’ll make your day! Just…”

Just what? Pretend it was the past? Pretend everyone was safe and well and that they weren’t in constant danger?

He found no words to say. Instead, he pulled the candy out of his pocket and held it
before his best friend.

“Tadaa.”

Ventus blinked a few times. In front of him was his favorite candy ever since he was a child. A Lucky Lucky, a unique and special brand most kids didn’t like but he loved. One he hadn’t had since the end began.

Vanitas held his breath as he looked at Ventus. As he looked at his tired, empty blueish eyes. The barrier between them was so, so thin but not unbreakable. He had been trying, gathering enough courage to finally break it. All he had to do…

All he had to do was to tell him.

I know.

To break the distance between them. To have Ventus in your arms again. Tell him.

I can’t.

You’ve hidden this for years, ever since you met him. Remember what Sora said. Let him know! He deserves to!

Thunder crashed down the mountain and lightning struck the sea. Vanitas breathed in. To break their distance forever. All he needed was to really, truly, literally approach him.

“V… Ven. Listen.”

Ventus took a step closer to him, his eyes on the candy.

“I… I have something to tell you. Something that… I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time now.”

It was the risk he’d been ready to take ever since the beginning. Only now… Only now there was nothing else he could do. The past, the world, nothing would change if he told him now. Nothing would change if he took that final step and walked inside the fence.

Ventus looked from the candy and up at Vanitas again, into his yellow, tear-filled eyes. Vanitas shakingly then pulled the candy to his chest.

”I… Ventus, I… I hope you understand. I hope… I really hope you can understand, but…”

He hesitated. Ventus was still looking at him and what seemed to be a small glimmer of light in his eye had Vanitas tearing up again. This was it. Vanitas breathed in, then stretched his arm towards Ventus.

“Ven… I love you.”

The clouds slowly crashed against each other in the sky. Around them, there was no sound other than the wind. That and Ventus’ voice. But his voice wasn’t heard as a reply to Vanitas’ words and if he did understand said words no one would ever know, for all he did was to act the only way his body now could.

He cried out and screamed with pain. Then he attacked, teeth gritted with anger, not toward the one he once called best friend but anger that came from within him, from his most basic survival instinct, and from the virus that had long ago corrupted his brain.

He would have reached him hadn’t Vanitas pulled his arm back, alert. The candy fell from his hand, next to the feet of the one he loved more than himself but who stared at him not with love and affection but like an animal anguished for its prey.

Vanitas stepped back, just enough so Ventus wouldn’t be able to scratch him. From behind that chain link fence, he could do nothing. Nothing but thrash around and scream, desperate to eat,
to kill. Behind that fence, where he’d been kept for one year so he couldn’t be killed again,  where Vanitas could talk to him and pretend, believe there was a way to save him, all he could do was walk around, as his hair fell out and his skin rotted away.

But the image Vanitas had wasn’t of that Ventus. It wasn’t of the decayed thing he now was; it was of that wonderful, gentle boy who’d make him feel like the happiest guy in the world. It was of that teen who would have jumped on him by now trying to grab the Lucky Lucky only to then share it with him. It was of that young man who would hold him in his arms whenever he felt alone.

He felt alone now. More than ever. And he would feel even lonelier if he returned to the bunker, to the dirty and empty bottles of water he had counted as fresh before, to the defective and unusable medkits he convinced himself were in good conditions, to the cold, damp blanket he used as a bed.

Of course, he knew the candy wouldn’t bring him back, but… Maybe a part of his mind. Maybe a small glimpse into his memories, only enough for him to smile once more and call for his name.

He just needed to let Ventus free so he could hold him one last time.

Vanitas…

One final step. And then be with him.

A small, shy smile curved Vanitas’ lips as he reached for the latch and all doubts he had slowly
disappeared, replaced by one single thought. Ventus screamed, or maybe that was just the rusted and unused fence screeching as he lifted the latch.

He was too focused on Ventus to care about his hand suddenly getting caught on the barbed wire on the edge of the door, giving him a newly opened cut.

He stared at it for a moment, basking in the warmth of his blood as he would under the sunlight back when they used to lay on the grass together on a sunny day, thinking of how warm Ventus
would feel when he reached him.

And so Vanitas smiled. A smile that went from ear to ear, as he wrenched the gate fully open,  his arms slowly spreading wide –waiting. 

Trembling as the tears he had held for so long finally started rolling down his cheeks, as he waited for his beloved, for the one he loved more than anything.

Ventus screamed, but for one last time Vanitas could pretend it wasn’t a scream. It could be laughter. Joyous, excited laughter. Happy laughter, because Ventus was so, so happy to see him.

Ventus staggered clumsily toward him but Vanitas didn’t move. He was ready to go. And if anything or anyone was going to take him then it would be his Ventus. And then he would
finally hold him in his arms again.

Forever.

            I love you too.

                                    Just like old times.